It’s no secret that women and men have different ways or negotiating. But these differences can be a problem when they cause women to make mistakes that cost them certain fruits of their negotiations.

For the most part, women tend to experience less success when negotiating, and are more willing to concede things that they really should not concede in a negotiation (like accepting a lower salary than they should). The adverse affects of these types of concessions can be attributed as one of the reasons for the pay and promotion gap between men and women.

In order to become better negotiators (and catch up with men on the above metrics) women need to adjust their negotiation attitudes. Most women have the skills and knowledge to be great negotiators, but they lack the attitude necessary to successfully achieve their desired result in a negotiation.

Here are some of the most common negotiation mistakes that women make and how they can correct them:

• Women fail to do their homework. An absolute necessity to a successful negotiation, all women must take the time to research comparable salaries, benefits, and career paths in similar positions prior to attending a negotiation session. This will help the woman to understand her own worth, to place value on her experiences and education, and will arm her with a more solid negotiating attitude that will be more likely to get her the things she wants.

• Women tend to take negotiations personally. In order to maintain a good negotiating attitude that will lead to success, a woman must remember that there is absolutely nothing personal about negotiations. It is all about business, and to be successful in negotiating, a woman must detach her emotions from the negotiations.

• Women focus more on what their employer gives them than on what they give their employer. Women tend to focus on the benevolence of their employer in that the employer has already provided them with a great deal. As a result, women are much more willing to settle for smaller salaries.
  
  The reality of the situation is that the employer has purchased your time for a price, and your job is to prove to the employer that you deserve more, because you are already giving him more. Women need to shift their focus on what they are offering their employer so that the employer will see that the request for a higher salary is well deserved and even imperative.
  

• Women start off lower than they should. One of the main reasons why women have problems getting what they want out of salary negotiations is because they failed to negotiate a higher salary when they had the chance when offered the job. If you do not negotiate a higher salary to begin with, raises and bonuses (which are typically computed as a percentage of salary) will be smaller, too.
  
  The problem feeds off itself and the wage gap between men and women continues to grow larger. Be sure to negotiate the highest salary possible at the outset, because in most cases, your low salary will never catch up to what you think and know you deserve.
  

• Women don’t like to ask for what they deserve. Because society and tradition have taught women that bold behavior is inappropriate, women tend to wait around to be recognized for their good work, rather than asking for their deserved recognition. To be successful in negotiating an acceptable salary increase, women must first realize that it is okay (and necessary) to ask for what they deserve.

• Women value relationships. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it tends to hurt women as they negotiate. Women like to protect the relationships that they have, so many make the mistake of failing to negotiate with the proper attitude and drive because they don’t want to hurt the relationship they have with the individual(s) on the other side of the table. Women must not make the mistake of believing that aggressively negotiating for what they deserve will anger their counterpart or damage their relationship with them.